New Book Offers Tools to Combat Societal Messages

In a society that worships thinness, it’s little wonder that so many women devote an enormous amount of time, energy, and expense in the pursuit of a slender body. This pursuit has come to function like a religion, with it’s own set of beliefs, myths, rituals, images, and moral codes that encourage followers to seek “salvation” through weight loss.

At the heart of this secular “Religion of Thinness” is the belief that in order to be happy, healthy, and beautiful, one must be noticeably slim. Idealized images of this ideal inspire devotees to define themselves through their physical appearance, while daily rituals like counting fat grams and burning calories give them a sense of control.

The Religion of Thinness has its own moral guidelines: “good” and “bad” foods, as well as guilt and the possibility of penance for those who transgress. Before and after advertisements invite us to be “born again” by transfiguring our flesh, while weight-loss programs tap into our desire for community by promoting solidarity in the crusade against fat. Fanatics, like Pro-Ana websites provide thinspiration, and the most orthodox adherents develop eating disorders.

Ultimately, The Religion of Thinness offers false promises of freedom and fulfillment that leave followers feeling unsatisfied and incomplete. Learning to identify and more adequately address unmet spiritual needs is a crucial step toward resolving conflicts with food and weight.

The Religion of Thinness offers two practical tools to help readers on this journey: cultural criticism and mindfulness practice. Through the use of practical techniques, readers become more conscious of widespread societal messages that fuel the $60 billion weight loss industry and become deeply aware of internal responses, which can free them to live more peacefully in their own flesh. With its combined emphasis on cultural critique and spiritual growth, The Religion of Thinness charts new territory in the movement to create a culture in which the bodies of all people are unconditionally accepted, respected, cared for, and loved.

On Loving Unconditionally

1. Realize that everyone, no matter what creed, color, or situation deserves love. As humans we all want to be happy and feel loved. We should want this not only for ourselves but for others as well.

2. Think of love as an action, not a feeling. A feeling is something we get from someone, and when we stop getting it, we often change our behavior somehow. If we have to do something, or be a certain way, in order to receive love, that love is conditional. Instead, if you start thinking of love as the behavior itself, the reward becomes the feeling you get when you act a certain way, not when someone else acts a certain way. And you can continue acting this way all the time, regardless of how other people behave--it becomes an act of generosity.

3. Always ask yourself, what is the most loving thing I can do for this particular person in this particular moment? Love isn't really one size fits all; what might be a loving act toward one person could be harmful to another person, in that it doesn't help them get closer to becoming a truly happy human being. Unconditional love is a new decision you need to make in every situation, not a hard and fast rule you can apply to everyone all the time.

4. Remember that love doesn't mean making sure someone is always comfortable. If you believe loving someone is about fostering their growth, most people acknowledge that pain and discomfort are part of growth, and if you shield someone from all pain or discomfort, you are not loving them. So, don't confuse loving someone with blindly making them comfortable, satisfying their desires, and shielding them from any kind of pain. If you do, you are only making it difficult for them to grow as human beings.