Confronting Weight-Related Criticism

If a relative or friend criticizes your appearance or weight, or that of your children, don't let this one go. It's too personal and invasive. For example, you might respond: "I appreciate that you're concerned about my weight but I'm within a healthy weight range and I'm eating well. My doctor is happy with my health." Or, "I understand that you worry about Kaila's weight and appearance but I prefer to concentrate on the children's personality and intellectual development rather than making them feel uncomfortable about their physical appearance. Kaila's eating healthily and her doctor's happy with her health."

Eliminating Body-Based Bullying From Schools

In my psychotherapy practice I have heard too many stories of kids who were picked on because of their weight while teachers stood by or even subtly encouraged it. I just read a good article on how to make your school bully proof and I think many of the general principles apply to the issue of how to eliminate body-based bullying:

1. If you are a student, initiate a club that promotes tolerance and respect for students of all sizes. Work with teachers and administrators to create schoolwide activities. Hold assemblies and make them both informative and fun (go multimedia!).

2. Create campaigns that encourage other students to report bullying, including verbal abuse around body size and shape. Most often, both victims and witnesses are too intimidated or ashamed to come forward. Brainstorm with your school counselors on ways to helped bullied students take control of their situation. Make informational flyers, innovative videos.

3. Establish a student-run and peer-mentored “hotline.” This may be as simple as creating a group of advocates who take turns being “on call” through a chat program at designated times

4. If you are a parent, make a habit of talking to your child about his or her day at school. Get the details in an inviting and engaging way. Ask not only about schoolwork but also about friends and extracurricular activities. Remain informed about his or her social relationships. Get to know your child’s friends and their parents.

Body-based bullying need not be tolerated. Every student should be encouraged to accept and value their healthy body shape and size.